Always England x Reader

My friend (Y/N) was always upbeat, friendly and cute. She was the ideal girlfriend for everyone in our high school, even me. And there were some people who hated that. She was bullied quite a lot but she always acted as if it never hurt her, which, in turn, made more people love her.
I guess I never really thought that she would have actually asked me out. Believe me, I loved (Y/N), I really did. But my arrogance, or as my friend Kiku would say, Tsundereness, got in the way. I yelled at her asking if she thought that I was a fool, believing that she was ACTUALLY able to be in love with me.
Of course, I didn’t believe her. The look on her face was such a sad one, one that I had never seen on her face. It almost broke my heart. I went to apologize, but she just ran away.
We stopped talking for a while, mostly me avoiding her. I felt really bad, and wanted to make up with her. But I just…well, I kept on seeing her with Alfred. And I guess I just started thinking that they were now friends because I was out of the picture.
I now see that was the biggest mistake I had ever made. (Y/N) was an emotionally strong woman. And I loved her for it.
However, that’s what made me so surprised to find out that exactly a month after we stopped talking, she had committed suicide. When the police had come to my door, asking if I knew (Y/N) (L/N), I knew something was terribly wrong.
I nodded and as I did, both of the officers looked to each other in a chilling concern. “We’re sorry to inform you that your friend died last night, an overdose of sleeping tablets and blood loss I’m afraid. Would you happen to know why she may have done this?”
As soon as I heard those words, the tears I had been holding back the last month rolled down my cheeks as I fell to my knees. “It’s my fault….It’s my entire fault...” I was blubbering out, so shocked by their announcement of (Y/N)’s death, I couldn’t think strait.
All I could think of where old memories with her. However, Later on, after I had stopped my crying, I was informed by the officers that her family beat her. And not just her parents. Her aunts and uncles, even her sister!
That was when I thought that I should have listened to her.
I wonder now… Why didn’t she tell me about her problems? I was her closest friend and yet, she didn’t bother to leave out that so important detail that could have been resolved?
I could have shouldered some of the pain for her, a levy of sorts. She was always able to tell that something was wrong, there was something I wanted to tell, if I was lying.
She was able to take me apart and read my emotions as easily as taking away the bad glue of a card. So why couldn’t I?
Now that she’s gone, and her parents wanted nothing to do with the funeral or any of her things, as her best friend, I was left with all of her belongings and the funeral arrangements. Surprisingly, the funeral was already payed for.
The funeral was held a week after (Y/N)’s death. In that time, I had become a shut in. I only went out of my room for the bare necessities.
The times that wasn’t spent sleeping, I mourned in sorrow. I felt like I was trapped in a web, however, I felt as though (Y/N) was my spider.
I was lonely, oh so lonely without her. She was my light blinking at the end of the road, and now I want her to blink back to let me know that she forgave me at least before she had died.
When the funeral came around, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her. I knew that it was my fault that she was even lying in this coffin.
When I was finally able to bring myself to look at her, I almost broke down once again. The dark scars, some blood still dried around the edges, littering her arms where on show, and even with them, she looked like such a beauty to me.
Many people payed their respects to the eternally resting girl, and promptly left. However, I stayed behind, for many hours after.
All I could say was “(Y/N)... I’m sorry….I’m so sorry…” over and over again, hoping that she could hear me from across the grave and come back to me, hoping it would do something!
However, all of my efforts were in vain.
After her funeral, I became as adapt as I could in black magic. I had always wanted to study it but…she had never wanted me to turn to the dark side.
But desperate times call for desperate measures. And I was willing to sacrifice everything for her.
However, all I ended up with was a green bunny with wings. I named him Flying Mint Bunny, after (Y/N)’s favourite things.  He may not have been (Y/N), but he brightened my lonely little life, kidding myself, making myself think that somehow, someway, I was fine. That (Y/N)’s death wasn’t my fault.
After a few months, I was still a shell.  I had hardly eaten, making me almost nothing more than skin and bones, a former king with a rusty throne by his side, waiting for someone who would never come back to him, no matter how hard he tries.
My fortress, my solitude of my room, was under siege by my friends:
“Arthur, Dude! It’s been months! You need to come out, Bro!”
“Arzur, Mon Ami, you need zhe ‘elp of an expert! Come wizh us!”
“A-Arthur, everyone’s worried about you. We know that it’s hard for you to accept that she’s dead, but, it’s eating you alive!”
I knew what they were saying was true, but I just couldn’t. Whenever I left my fortitude, I was surrounded of things that reminded me too much of (Y/N).
Not only the memories, but my friends, when I was out of my room, pestered me about the fact that I need to get out more. Even Flying Mint Bunny, who didn’t personally know (Y/N), was pestering me.
I was getting sick of it. I ended up just giving out a pathetic;
“Leave me alone….”

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It had almost been a year since (Y/N)’s death. I still hadn’t gone outside. However, on this particular day, my heart felt lighter.
For the first time in a year, I stood and, with a sad smile on my face, briskly walking out the door.
I think Alfred nearly tripped over when he saw me outside the house.
I walked past him, with me head bent down. I had decided that I didn’t need the extra company. I continued my walk, down to our high school.
It was almost lunchtime when I arrived at the front gates of our school. I hadn’t been here since (Y/N)’s passing. Not much had changed since then. The foliage was a little denser and, the most noticeable thing to me was the memorial at the front of the office.
“In Loving Memory of ‘(Y/N) (L/N)’, Loving Friend to All and More to Others”
I let a faint smile onto my chapped lips, remembering the times I had with her. The time when we went to the movies to see the latest Sherlock Holmes, the time when we went to the karaoke bar and sand a duet, the time when I yelled at her…….when I avoided her…
 I heard a faint ringing noise in the background, realising the ringing was the bell, signalling the beginning of lunch. I wiped away the crystal tears that I hadn’t had the conscious to notice were falling down my cheeks.
I became lost in a sea of teenagers, reminding me more and more of the times I spent with her. It was then, I realised that I wasn’t the only one at the memorial. Hundreds of students had gathered around the Memorial, all out of their uniforms, making me realize they were my classmates from the last year.
There were many who I knew had bullied (Y/N), however, they had no hate on their faces, only remorse and sorrow. This was when I realised that I was not the only one affected by her death. The whole school was in mourning and accepted it while I just shut myself away, hoping and hoping for a better day.
And finally, finally, that day had come.
I came back into my own skin. I never forgot (Y/N), however, I knew she forgave me……
I Hope….